I Have Been A Bad Wife

Are you married and going through a rough season? Want to quit? Divorce peeking in that brain ain't it? Whoo to be single and free once more and able to do it right this time. Find someone with all those qualities your current doesn’t have!!

But if you are there... I can definitely relate.

I would love to tell you that I still do not have those moments. That my marriage is like Bey and Jay, Michelle and Barak. Just crazy in love with my best friend ready to be the first family of our nation. However just like Abraham I cannot tell a lie. My marriage is FAR from it as a matter of fact we are under contract but that is it. I will not go into details here because I would like to respect his personal privacy.

If the title had, you thinking we are here to bash the institution of marriage go elsewhere. I am a believer in it and its benefits to our communities and children. If you want to do some spouse bashing call your other friend. I am not here for all of that. As a matter of fact it is counterproductive to improving a poor marriage anyways (if that is your choice) but more importantly to you healing.

What I am here for is to encourage you to search yourself, examine your situation and do what is best for YOU! Not your mama, not your children, not your spouse… YOU!

At first the post read as follows… what I am here for is to encourage you to stay.

I had to change that because though staying is something I truly believe is best when available, I know from personal experience that is not always available

Something else that might shock you is I am only going to focus on you and me!!! That is right. I will not be suggesting how we can get our spouses to be better; I am going to suggest how we can be better. I know it is them. They just don't have no act right. But how are we acting? Be honest...

Everyone want Jay love but don't want to put in Beyonce time. No no no that ain't how it go. And here is the disclaimer. Just because you got (or gettin - I am in the gettin stage) your stuff together doesn't mean they ever will.

Now I am sure a few of you are scratching your head like well how does that help if they aint/don't get no act right at the end of all of this.

And honey I have the answer.

Yep you read it correctly. It doesn't matter .

Whether your spouse ever is what they should be (and I am talking about the basics here - respectful, loving, supporting, kind, helps you grow) is not on us it is on them. It is not our job to change or train them. No that is His job.

Who's job is it? It is God's. Yes, Our Lord, Father. When we He is a part of the mix then we are having a different conversation. Our motives change, our strength is increased, and a peace is attained that would otherwise be impossible. Or as Queen Bey would say 'You aint never seen a fire like the one I'ma cause.' Cause it ain't what you know it's who you know.

You see when we are rooted in Him and His word, we are able to do unthinkable things and endure hardships that most would run from. That is why we are taught Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Just like the other issues that arise in my life I realized the only part I could work on that would make a difference was myself and He had to take care of the rest.

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